I’ve recently gotten into craft beer. I live in San Diego, and we’re basically the craft beer capital of the galaxy. My palate has gradually changed from if-it’s-not-pink-zinfandel-I’m-not-interested to I-wonder-if-I-can-mix-black-coffee-bourbon-and-a-double-IPA-together.
A few weeks ago, I heard about this “beerfest” event happening in downtown. For 30$, you could get a souvenir beer glass and unlimited beer tastings of the finest craft beer the world has to offer. The event would be around sunset in San Diego’s gorgeous bay-front park with food trucks, music, and an ocean view so pretty that postcards get teary-eyed and emotional.
I texted one or two of my friends. Gave em the deets. Told ’em it was too good to pass up. One of them said no, he was busy that day. The other made some lame excuse about the cost. Whatever.
I messaged another friend of mine. Busy that weekend, sorry. I messaged my cousin. Sorry, he was unemployed and every penny he had left had to go towards not-starving.
I started to panic a little. My list of guys-to-drink-with was shrinking at an alarming rate.
Who else…oh! I know! My old coworker. He’d say yes! I hadn’t talked to him since last year, but I knew he couldn’t pass up a beerfest.
I texted him, gave him the schpeal.
“Sorry man, busy that day! Have fun” his text read.
I stared at my phone in disbelief.
Did I not have anyone to grab a beer with anymore?
I was upset. For $30, I could have as much delicious craft beer as I wanted and I couldn’t find a damned person to go get a drink with.
It gets worse.
I was upset. I needed to go to this beer thing. (Secretly, what I really needed was to prove to myself that I wasn’t as pathetically friendless-enough to not have anyone want to grab a beer with me.)
There was this new guy at work. We’d talked a few times, he was a cool dude. His name was Zack. I didn’t know his last name, but I knew he liked craft beer. He told me one time.
Well, I went up to Zack the next day. It was like asking a girl out to the 8th grade dance all over again.
“Hey, man,” I said nervously, acting casual. I leaned into his cube. “So ahh, there’s this sweet beer event next weekend. Uh, I don’t know if you’re free then, but it’s only like $30 bucks for unlimited tastings. You wanna go?”
He looked at me and smiled awkwardly, fumbling for words.
“Oh, cool, that’s uh, that’s great. Yeah man, thanks for the uh, invite, but I’m trying to not spend as much money going out this month. Uh, yeah, maybe we could grab a drink next time or something?”
My eye twitched subconsciously. “Oh yeah! No problem! Yeah, that’s totally cool, no problem! Next week sounds great, for sure! Yeah! OK man, take it easy! Yeah!”
It took me getting turned down for a man date by a guy I barely knew at work to make me realize what I’d been fearing all along:
I’m not going to this beer event.
Life is kinda lonely after college.
You might’ve already experienced this astounding lack of community too. Maybe you were the one that moved away, maybe you were one of the few that stayed after college. Whatever the case, it’s hard to make friends.
Thanks for reading! If you were looking for a blog post that tells you how to make new friends after college, go find it and share it with me, because I obviously don’t know.
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