It’s summer. You’re not really working. You just woke up at your parent’s house, drooling over your pillow by sleeping 11 hours again after staying out till 3 a.m. at the most hipster bars you and your drunk friends can find. The plan for the day? Watch as many Big Bang reruns as you can find.
Facing the Issues You’ve Ignored Throughout College
Now that finals are over and you finally have some homework-free moments to think, you might realize that there are some pressing issues that you’re facing.
1. Issues with your parents
Here’s a tiny piece of my story: my parents divorced in my sophomore year in college. It wasn’t pleasant – it was messy, tense, and the whole thing left me with some stuff to work out.
This story isn’t uncommon; many of us come from difficult homes, divorced or not. A lot of people (myself included) struggle with a lot of issues that resulted from some touch memories growing up, and they come out in areas like dating, self-worth, and identity.
Feelings of insecurity and identity don’t go away on their own; it takes guts to change your life. This $@%# ain’t easy. (Want to tweet that?)
M.D. Mark Goulston put it this way: “It appears that many people are attracted to or have even married someone who is remarkably similar to a parent that they had unfinished business with.” Are you the type of person who just can’t help but date jerks? Do you ever feel that you just don’t deserve a great relationship? Maybe there’s stuff underneath that you need to dig up.
Don’t be oblivious and irresponsible: a lot of people have issues from their parents, and those issues directly relate to your repetitive stupid decisions. That’s ok. Identify them, talk about them with people you trust (a counselor or even a mentor) and make sure you don’t end up repeating the same mistakes with your kids someday.
2. Being the Next Warren Buffet
Here’s an “ideal” trajectory for a huge number of college grads I’ve discovered (feel free to correct me if I’m wrong):
- Find full-time/enormous salary dream job (or) open massively successful startup
- Become CEO and President
- Make millions
- Go to your first high school reunion on the cover of Forbes driving a Lambo.
Know what I’m talkin about? It’s ok, I’ve had the same thoughts.
This is “the dream” for a multitude of graduates and professionals alike. It’s been the dream you’ve been told to chase since you first saw your friend’s parent’s enormous house when your first thought, “Man. I need this.”
Here’s the thing, though: more often than not, this road leads to a pretty crappy ending – unmet expectations, a life defined by “busyness” and “work,” and a massive ball of some serious frustration. If you go out intending to make millions, you’re probably going to be very, very disappointed.
C.S. Lewis calls this attitude “The Fool’s Way,” and goes to on describe people like this as the “most of the bored, discontented, rich people in the world. They spend their whole lives trotting from woman to woman (through the divorce courts), from continent to continent, from hobby to hobby, never finding true happiness.”
Now, this isn’t the ending to every story, but that’s part of the lie as a whole – that’s not gonna be me. I’m gonna be the exception and be wildly happy and successful. Maybe – butt there are so many more life-giving, fulfilling ways to lie a great life without becoming a workaholic.
Don’t let the world boss you around. Be smart with money – create a budget, pay off your loans, start a retirement fund, make room to do the things you love.
3. Wanting Everyone to Love You Every Second of Every Day
I mean, who doesn’t want people to like them?
Obsessing over something often prevents you from attaining that very thing. (Tweet it.)
Ironically, not trying to get something often presents you with that thing everyone else wants (a boyfriend, for example – try and spend months searching for the perfect mate and you’re going to end up pissed off with a gallon of ice cream watching reruns of Grey’s Anatomy in your bed).
Bottom line: focus on you. What stops you from being the best damn you there ever was?
Once you confront these issues, a door will unlock that will never close – a door to becoming the real, whole you. Your potential will be almost limitless. Whatever you put your mind to, you’ll have an enormous amount more of inspiration, motivation, and confidence that you’ve ever had before.
Be you by confronting your issues like a man. Don’t let them keep you down any longer.
What are your thoughts on some of the most significant issues college grads face? Comment, share, and let me know!