I was getting ready to go to sleep last night, but I saw a picture of a friend’s friend on Facebook. Normally I would’ve kept scrolling, but I couldn’t help but pause.
He was holding a bottle of expensive champagne in front of his yacht. His yacht. The guy owns a yacht, people.
Of course I had to keep scrolling, because I was just gettin’ started on my resentment.
Other pictures included a scenic beach resort patio with computers, captioned “I feel sorry for people working in offices today.”
Another was a picture of him attending some kind of fancy downtown party (I don’t think I’ve ever been invited to a “downtown party”) wearing a suit that costs more than my house, standing next to a car whose price I can’t even imagine. The next one was him riding his horse because he owns a horse.
He’s my age.
3 Ways to Quit Playing the Comparison Game
When I see a successful person my age, I occasionally start to hate and/or think I’m wasting the air on this planet because, hey – I’m a loser. I don’t have those things. Probably won’t, either.
And that’s why The Comparison Game sucks - there’s only 1 way to end it. By losing. You end the game when you finally admit how you’ll never be as successful/popular/loved/attractive/wealthy as that person.
If you’re like me and hate hating yourself and just want to stop playing…here’s 3 ways to start.
1. “Good For Them.”
Yeah right! Like I’d ever say that. Or if I did, like I’d ever mean it. Screw those guys. I’m here tryna’ buy this week’s groceries for under $30, and they’re spending a veritable fortune on cologne that make you smell like crisp $100 bills.
But if you want to have any hope of quitting this terrible cycle, you need to learn how to be happy for someone when their life is going great. It’s, sadly, not all about you. People who can appreciate, respect, and (dare I say) celebrate the fortune of others…
those are good people. Whether they know it or not.
2. Stay In Your Lane.
Life after college is a lot like driving on a crowded freeway: it’s slow, boring, and most people just want to get home and sleep for 15 hours.
Ever seen a super nice car while you’re driving? Like, you know that car costs more than several down payments on your house.
Once you start focusing on how nice their car is – it’s sleek, sexy, and they dominate the fast lane, and I wish I had that car, and BAM.
Stay in your lane. Don’t focus on how great other people are – build up your own speed. Focus on your path, and screw the rest.
3. “Do What You Love, and F**k the Rest.”
That line is from Little Miss Sunshine. The conversation was about not trying to win the “beauty contests” of life; don’t try to please everyone in school, college, then work. You do what you love, and…yeah.
When you compare yourself to others, it’s a lose-lose. Either:
1. You’ll develop a false sense of superiority because you “appear” to be better off
2. You’ll develop a false sense of inferiority because they “appear” to be better off
This week, practice focusing on what makes you fulfilled. Don’t resent others who are already there.
You become someone you’re not – humble, outgoing, friendly people turn into resentful, introverted jerks. Like Gollum in Lord of the Rings.
You don’t want to be Gollum, do you?
Who’s one person this week you need to stop comparing yourself to?
Tell us in the comments.